I am one of those people who consider New Year’s Eve to be of no significance. I detest the fireworks, I dislike the drinking, and I see absolutely no necessity to stay up late to celebrate the arbitrarily appointed end of the year.
I’d even venture to add that there is nothing like Time. It is a notion invented with the aim to satisfy the human brain – but in fact, a year doesn’t signify at all when we think of eternity. Yet we like to think in neatly bound units of measurement. It’s the same as with novels: we like to have a proper beginning and closure. A book ends when you reach “the end.” The book ends but the story does not. The same is true for a year. We may prefer to lock the last 12 months in a neat little box with a label “2017” and try to put it behind us, but it will affect our future. Nothing is unconnected. Nothing ever comes to a decisive end.
That said, I will still yield to the temptation to look back at the last twelve months for it is traditional to do so. I will open my little “2017” box and let the memories come alive for some brief moments. Taking everything into account, I ought to be satisfied.
I’ve received a BA degree. Devilish little have I achieved by it but it’s undeniably mine. It proves – not that I am wiser or smarter – but that I am able to complete something that takes 3 years. It is also an evidence of Fortune’s gracious kindness concerning my affairs.
A poem of mine has been published, and that’s good because I am now quite of the mind to give up poetry altogether. I know for sure that I am not ofa Shakespearean talent for I have to labour too much to create something that doesn’t give me the shivers, and I would hate to waste my time upon something that will never surpass mediocracy. I have also developed a terrible dislike for what I would describe as “a poetic disposition.”
Some of my dreams have come true: I could go to a concert of The King’s Singers, I’ve visited Waterloo, I could be absent from the graduation ceremony.
This year has also been packed with discoveries. Thanks to my sister, I’ve started watching series that I otherwise wouldn’t have. I’ve come across novels and writers whom I never heard about before, and the introduction to this new world has been pleasant and thrilling. (You’ll presently get reviews of the books I’ve read.)
And I have learned to know myself better. I got rid of pretence friendships and formed new ones, and I realised that it isn’t people in general that I dislike, it is acquaintance with them that can tire me. I like to be around people, listening, helping out, observing; but I hate to be addressed when it is not necessary.
On the negative side of self-discovery, I realised that I can be very ungracious and wicked when my pride is hurt, I have little self-discipline and even less steadfastness (although these last two are hardly news to me), I do not tolerate having a role in nonsensical schemes, and I hate to be ordered around, even covertly. That, again, makes me uncooperative and puts me in a wicked temper.
Some self-deceptive dreams and goals of mine have been unveiled as follies, which means that I now have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life (beyond somehow earning enormous piles of money).
As for New Year’s Resolutions, expect none of me. Firstly, because I know I wouldn’t keep them. Secondly, because I know I wouldn’t keep them.
What about you? Have you achieved something last year? Have you got resolutions for 2018?
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