2017, Adieu

I am one of those people who consider New Year’s Eve to be of no significance. I detest the fireworks, I dislike the drinking, and I see absolutely no necessity to stay up late to celebrate the arbitrarily appointed end of the year.

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I’d even venture to add that there is nothing like Time. It is a notion invented with the aim to satisfy the human brain – but in fact, a year doesn’t signify at all when we think of eternity. Yet we like to think in neatly bound units of measurement. It’s the same as with novels: we like to have a proper beginning and closure. A book ends when you reach “the end.” The book ends but the story does not. The same is true for a year. We may prefer to lock the last 12 months in a neat little box with a label “2017” and try to put it behind us, but it will affect our future. Nothing is unconnected. Nothing ever comes to a decisive end.

That said, I will still yield to the temptation to look back at the last twelve months for it is traditional to do so. I will open my little “2017” box and let the memories come alive for some brief moments. Taking everything into account, I ought to be satisfied.

I’ve received a BA degree. Devilish little have I achieved by it but it’s undeniably mine. It proves – not that I am wiser or smarter – but that I am able to complete something that takes 3 years. It is also an evidence of Fortune’s gracious kindness concerning my affairs.

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A poem of mine has been published, and that’s good because I am now quite of the mind to give up poetry altogether. I know for sure that I am not ofa Shakespearean talent for I have to labour too much to create something that doesn’t give me the shivers, and I would hate to waste my time upon something that will never surpass mediocracy. I have also developed a terrible dislike for what I would describe as “a poetic disposition.”

Some of my dreams have come true: I could go to a concert of The King’s Singers, I’ve visited Waterloo, I could be absent from the graduation ceremony.

 

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This year has also been packed with discoveries. Thanks to my sister, I’ve started watching series that I otherwise wouldn’t have. I’ve come across novels and writers whom I never heard about before, and the introduction to this new world has been pleasant and thrilling. (You’ll presently get reviews of the books I’ve read.)

And I have learned to know myself better. I got rid of pretence friendships and formed new ones, and I realised that it isn’t people in general that I dislike, it is acquaintance with them that can tire me. I like to be around people, listening, helping out, observing; but I hate to be addressed when it is not necessary.

On the negative side of self-discovery, I realised that I can be very ungracious and wicked when my pride is hurt, I have little self-discipline and even less steadfastness (although these last two are hardly news to me), I do not tolerate having a role in nonsensical schemes, and I hate to be ordered around, even covertly. That, again, makes me uncooperative and puts me in a wicked temper.

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Some self-deceptive dreams and goals of mine have been unveiled as follies, which means that I now have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life (beyond somehow earning enormous piles of money).

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As for New Year’s Resolutions, expect none of me. Firstly, because I know I wouldn’t keep them. Secondly, because I know I wouldn’t keep them.

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What about you? Have you achieved something last year? Have you got resolutions for 2018?
Feel free to share in the comment section below.

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2 thoughts on “2017, Adieu

  1. Nice post. So true about time. I don’t sit up for the twelve gongs of the clock by any means, but I do love how the start of a new year makes me feel -like theres a divide that gives me added motivation to achieve goals, new habits and pat myself on the back for the good things I managed to do in the year before. My resolutions this year is to take better care of myself, save money & start my etsy shop. Hope you find what you want to do with your life- the possibilities are endless ❤️ thats awesome about a published poem. Is that on your blog?

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    1. Oh, I wish I could feel that way! I like to look back on the experiences I’ve had, but the fact that January is exam period makes me infinitely less enthusiastic about the new year… All your resolutions sound great! I should really follow your example, and try to achieve the first two. What would you sell on etsy? Period drama related? ❤
      Thank you! ❤ No, I hasn't shared it on the blog, but I'll leave it here in case you wanted to read it:

      Confession of a Writer

      Oft times I feel ancient, a relic of a time
      Long gone by and forgotten by men;
      Other days a restless energy invades me
      To think, feel, act – and write again.

      The Muse and Inspiration come in forms
      Unprecedented but not less sublime;
      They are pregnant with meaning, and I –
      I only assist at the birth of rhyme.

      And it’s not by choice or will or fancy:
      I’m bound to submit and make way,
      And when the Spirit of Writing thus commands,
      Pick up the pen and docilely obey.

      Like

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